TED演讲：请别忘记感谢身边的人(2)

TED演讲：请别忘记感谢身边的人

　　因此我的问题是，为什么我们不索求我们需要的东西呢? 我认识一个结婚25年的男士 渴望听到他妻子说， “感谢你为这个家在外赚钱，这样我才能在家陪伴着孩子，” 但他从来不去问。 我认识一个精于此道的女士。 每周一次，她见到丈夫后会说， “我真的希望你为我对这个家和孩子们付出的努力而感谢我。” 他会应和到“哦，真是太棒了，真是太棒了。” 赞扬别人一定要真诚， 但她对赞美承担了责任。 一个从我上幼儿园就一直是朋友的叫April的人， 她会感谢她的孩子们做了家务。 她说：“为什么我不表示感谢呢，即使他们本来就要做那些事情?”

　　So, the question is, why was I blocking it? Why were other people blocking it? Why can I say, "I'll take my steak medium rare, I need size six shoes," but I won't say, "Would you praise me this way?" And it's because I'm giving you critical data about me. I'm telling you where I'm insecure. I'm telling you where I need your help. And I'm treating you, my inner circle, like you're the enemy. Because what can you do with that data? You could neglect me. You could abuse it. Or you could actually meet my need.

　　因此我的问题是，为什么我不说呢? 为什么其它人不说呢? 为什么我能说：“我要一块中等厚度的牛排， 我需要6号尺寸的鞋子，” 但我却不能说：“你可以赞扬我吗?” 因为这会使我把我的重要信息与你分享。 会让我告诉了你我内心的不安。 会让你认为我需要你的帮助。 虽然你是我最贴心的人， 我却把你当作是敌人。 你会用我托付给你的重要信息做些什么呢? 你可以忽视我。 你可以滥用它。 或者你可以满足我的要求。

　　And I took my bike into the bike store-- I love this -- same bike, and they'd do something called "truing" the wheels. The guy said, "You know, when you true the wheels, it's going to make the bike so much better." I get the same bike back, and they've taken all the little warps out of those same wheels I've had for two and a half years, and my bike is like new. So, I'm going to challenge all of you. I want you to true your wheels: be honest about the praise that you need to hear. What do you need to hear? Go home to your wife -- go ask her, what does she need? Go home to your husband -- what does he need? Go home and ask those questions, and then help the people around you.

　　我把我的自行车拿到车行--我喜欢这么做-- 同样的自行车，他们会对车轮做整形。 那里的人说：“当你对车轮做整形时， 它会使自行车变成更好。” 我把这辆自行车拿回来， 他们把有小小弯曲的铁丝从轮子上拿走 这辆车我用了2年半，现在还像新的一样。 所以我要问在场的所有人， 我希望你们把你们的车轮整形一下： 真诚面对对你们想听到的赞美。 你们想听到什么呢? 回家问问你们的妻子，她想听到什么? 回家问问你们的丈夫，他想听到什么? 回家问问这些问题，并帮助身边的人实现它们。

　　And it's simple. And why should we care about this? We talk about world peace. How can we have world peace with different cultures, different languages? I think it starts household by household, under the same roof. So, let's make it right in our own backyard. And I want to thank all of you in the audience for being great husbands, great mothers, friends, daughters, sons. And maybe somebody's never said that to you, but you've done a really, really good job. And thank you for being here, just showing up and changing the world with your ideas.

　　非常简单。 为什么要关心这个呢? 我们谈论世界和平。 我们怎么用不同的文化，不同的语言来保持世界和平? 我想要从每个小家庭开始。 所以让我们在家里就把这件事情做好。 我想要感谢所有在这里的人们 因为你们是好丈夫，好母亲， 好伙伴，好女儿和好儿子。 或许有些人从没跟你们说过 但你们已经做得非常非常得出色了。 感谢你们来到这里， 向世界显示着你们的智慧，并用它们改变着世界。